You’re allowed to be anything.
You’re not allowed to let it destroy you.
I think I’m going to take up jogging. Just in my backyard though because I don’t want people to see me struggle haha.
I’ll join you. :^)
My boyfriend was telling me what his friend had told him about a girl that the friend used to live with. Apparently she would sit post-shower in the kitchen and put her feet up on the table, so at certain angles you got a full view of her genital area.
My bf told me that his friend had said it was “untidy, like the Gaza strip”. When I furrowed my brow a little, trying to connect the image of the Gaza Strip with genitalia, he said “you know, it was torn apart?”
I then said that that sounded more like she’d had FGM or something. What did he exactly mean? What does tidy even refer to? Cause I was thinking just her pubic hair or something and failing to see how that is like the Gaza Strip, unless her landing strip wasn’t well shaped anymore?
So he tried to compare it to an “unpacked donner kebab” To which I said “that’s not particularly helpful either” and I asked “do guys really compare women’s vaginas to donner kebabs and the Gaza Strip?” and he said well, no, but it’s just a joke and it’s a common one (so I guess what he should have said is, “yes”!)
I said, well 100 years ago the “n word” was still a common term but that didn’t make it appropriate. Obviously, “one is not like the other” because one is a joke.
I told him that actually I found it offensive to think that someone would be comparing vaginas to the grossest meat on earth and that it’s no fucking wonder that vagino and labioplasties are on the rise.
He got exasperated and said that I have to turn everything into a platform and it is just a common joke*. He tried googling kebabs to show me, but got caught up on the fact that “unpacked kebab” was in the Urban Dictionary, as though that made it better.
He probably told his friend about our exchange.
"Yeah, but she’s always been like that though," is what my bf said his friend would tell him.
*I fail to see the humour in the joke - he couldn’t even explain it to me. Therefore it is not a joke but merely the derogatory comparison I took it to be.
Sanjai, a 20-years old bull (male elephant), sees himself for the first time in front of a mirror. [x]
I LOVE THIS VINE SO MUCH PLEASE WATCH IT
Help Our Turtle Friends!!!
NO NO NO NO
SO VERY WRONG
LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG
IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND
SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING
IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.
IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.
IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.
PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.
-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.
-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.
-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.
-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.
-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.
-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.
-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.
WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.
it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.
This is super important. But also.
The Virgin asshole of satan
I cannot tell you the number of times people have brought native species into the store asking if they can keep it or if we can take it or what to do with it and I have to calmly tell them that they are idiots and to contact the DEP because they were stupid enough to move the damn thing away from where it was.
an angel girl who’s girlfriend is a demon and at first they don’t want anybody to know but then god is like “my child do not worry about it it’s , as the kids are saying these days, “what ever”’ but satan is like “do I know this girl. let me meet her. is she a bad influence?” “dad she’s an angel” “damn I was really hoping she would be a bad influence”
not my family bitch
why am i crying“Stay away of my territory”
THERE’S THE BANANA GUY
Real life vs Societal expectations
Yeah, news flash people, boobs generally only look “perky” while in a bra. A few are super lucky and have naturally perky boobs, most don’t. And this is because, SURPRISE, boobs are intended to feed babies and it’s hard for a baby being cradled in mum’s arm to reach a nipple that’s on the other side of the boob from where its mouth is.
Think of a soda fountain machine. The spouts are all pointing down, right? So you can put soda in a cup being held under the spout? If the spout was sticking straight out, it would be really hard to get a soda out of it.
Babies need to be able to reach a nipple easily so they can eat. Ergo, nipples are usually lower and angled more downward on a naturally hanging boob, both so it’s easier for a baby to reach and so gravity can do its part in pulling milk toward the nipple.
So there you go, outright ANATOMICAL proof that boobs are not there for the benefit of men.
Thank you for that. I never realized. Thanks.